These “cookies” are becoming a tradition in my family. 

One year around the beginning of December my mom told me my dad wanted to make Eastern Shore Christmas Candy to mail off to all of our relatives, so my mom and I went to our local warehouse store and loaded up on Ghirardelli chocolate chips, premium saltines, butter, brown sugar, pecans and parchment paper.  We found some pretty tins and ribbons at the dollar store. Then she dropped me off at my house and I elfed it up in the kitchen.

Do yourself a favor and hop over to elfyourself.com  The results are hilarious!

The “bark” as our relatives referred to it (and as some people at a party in Montgomery County confidently informed me it was – in a not very Christmassy way) was an insta-hit. My cousin called on the phone to say she hoped this was going to be a tradition and did I send any for her son and husband?  It was awarded the term “Christmas crack” not original, of course, but an honor. (Or maybe they were just being literal .)

 

Photo Credit: https://mic.com/articles/88015/what-happens-to-your-brain-on-sugar-explained-by-science#.7C6gjAcOd

I believe my dad saw the recipe in The Daily Times newspaper of Salisbury, Maryland, in approximately 2009, or maybe 2011.  Tracy Sahler has/had a column there writing about recipes on the Eastern Shore. We’ve lost the newspaper clipping, or maybe there never was one, but thanks to the modern miracle of the internet and allrecipes, around the end of November there is a flurry of googling for this recipe from our IP addresses. Screen shots are printed and shared.  

This morning  I ran a finger down the edge of the pan to scoop up the stray not-yet-hardened toffee that lingered in a skirt around the mass of cooling crackers topped with smooth melted chocolate and crushed pecan pieces and I was Little Runner of the Longhouse. 

  As I scooped left over drips of toffee off of the sauce pan with the rubber scraper I was Laura Ingalls Wilder making pulled molasses candy in her sod house (I don’t know if they made pulled molasses candy in the sod house – an internet search reveals that this happened in Farmer Boy, which was a book I never got around to reading.  We couldn’t find it for the longest time AND I wanted to read all of the Little House books first, then I guess I got older. But I did have a Laura Ingalls Wilder cookbook and my mom and I made the molasses recipe from that.)

For Little Runner of the Longhouse and Laura Ingalls Wilder in the Little House on the Prairie, there was much excitement around the event of these sugar candy opportunities.  It was magical as a 10-year old to make their simple candies in my own childhood home as a special treat.

When I realized that what I was making for these "cookies" was essentially delicious butter toffee I was excited, delighted, and horrified (because with great power comes great responsibility). For about the last 6 years I have avoided making the saltine toffee cookies, for a few reasons.  For several years I had to travel a lot so the making of them to send out fell to other family members.  In addition to that, a little bit of the sugary treat feels like too much to me, and I just can’t resist nibbling the little bits that crack off and are left behind in the pan so I don't have them around.  Because I enjoy this treat so much, I decided this year to break my hiatus and make some to share with my Florida neighbors who have been so kind to us over the last 18 months of our residence here.  After a week of sugar rushing, I’m swearing back off the toffee sauce, at least until next year, when the decade long tradition continues.

In the comments:
I'd love to hear about your family traditional recipes;
Your explanation of how to classify this food according to the cube rule; 
Themes of contradiction around the positivity that keeps you participating in tradition versus the affect that participation has on your every day life;
Your thoughts on the terms "christmassy" or "chrismassy"  which I have been noticing this year;
How does time play into tradition and what is the significance of a decade when it comes to tradition.

"Junk Food" is relative

This is a popular article in my Facebook newsfeed:
"Why a looming storm makes us think we can eat all the junk food we want"

This thread inspired my own introspection.
When I "went wild" at the grocery store, my outrageous choices that I wouldn't normally get were gluten and dairy based.  Trader Joe's mocha yogurt (1 cup), Pretzels (to go with the increased beer/wine/liquor consumption),

 (the increased beer/wine/liquor consumption)

shredded cheddar and sour cream for nachos, ingredients for nestle tollhouse cookies – chocolate chips, butter, white flour, sugar; mozzarella to try that cauliflower breadsticks recipe everyone is posting about.  (There is only 1 cup more cauliflower in there than cheese, people! I'm not sure I can bring myself to do it.) 

This results in: I keep walking around the kitchen looking for the cheesecake.  I’m saving my 1 cup of yogurt for – an emergency, I guess.  For until I really want it.  The "junk food" I got mostly requires preparation so it's easy to not indulge.  And this results in me looking up recipes for "raw vegan cheesecake smoothie"which I, by the way, do have ingredients for.  

I'm a little confused because I know if I had other human company, I'd have no problem helping polish off a bag of crunchy Cheetos or a mix of ranch and nacho Doritos.  I'd actually be making the cookies.  I would have wanted ice cream.  I'd be dusting the frost off and throwing one of my emergency frozen pizzas in the oven.

I tried to get better at providing party foods through time:

• In elementary school I presented my sleepover friends with apples and "fun size" chocolate bars.  
• In grad school I went to a department picnic.  The theme was "comfort food".  The hostess was in outraged disbelief when I honestly presented a big bowl of salad.
• In grad school, for the Valentine's Blizzard of '07 I provided several varieties of Doritos, Oreos,

  

  Valentine's Blizzard '07. My first big snow. I reacted much like this panda.

  Pepsi, Bacardi Raz, implored them to tell me what their favorite and preferred snacks were.
• Two years ago I brought some raw vegan onion dip to a friends' game night - next time they said I didn't need to bring anything, thanks.
• Over the summer I made Matthew Kenney's Raw Chocolate Chip Cookies for  20 middle school girls who applied to a competitive program to spend one Saturday a month learning computer programming languages for the duration of July-March. (Curious? Know a middle school girl who is interested in learning computer programming? You can find out about Engineer Girl here.)  The girls liked them.
• When a couple friends came over yesterday I made chili (the kind with ground meat, though I had a big fresh pot of tempeh chili in the house), provided celery and carrot sticks, and we just about polished off a package of Oreos.  
• I try!  I brought my class of college freshmen & sophomores some snacks one day: celery, strawberries, homemade top 5 allergen free thumbprint jammies, triscuits, cheese.  "She thinks we are fat!"  No, no, I don't.  I want to provide nourishing snacks, with variety for everyone to enjoy, and these are what I love to see at a party.  Presumably they had a class or a few to get through after and a sugar crash or very salty food would not help them do it.  
• The semester before: "We'll see what kind of snacks they are."  And expressions of delight at the celery and strawberries.  

A picnic lunch I packed in 2008.  

Note, the variety of choices. 

As those who know me well enough know, I turn to research when I want questions answered or feel curious. Here are some articles for consideration.  

 women eat when they are happy; 

men eat more when women are around; 

eating when you are lonely

Now, I'm going to take a big swig from my Flavor Fuse flavor infuser water bottle (I got mine at TJMax for $4), the infuser is filled with orange segments today.

It's refreshing and pallet cleansing.

Soon, I will make the raw vegan cheesecake smoothie using some strawberries my sister gave me yesterday (the association with her makes me want to eat them more).  I'm letting the cashews soak.
Later, I will open a single cup bottle of wine and enjoy a few extra dark pretzels.  

I'm happy to be here with my sleepy furry friends, warm, cozy, content.  

I hope you are enjoying winter storm Jonas as much as I am!  

Yoga Work Pants, What?!

One day, in my normal traverse of the internet I came across these beauties: 

(Use this link if you purchase them and we will both benefit!)

I felt ecstatic.  Pants that I could wear all day.  They would simplify my life!  I could now stop by the university library on my way to the gym, so convenient!  

I technically am in a constant state of on my way to yoga class/club or other exercise activity these days. 

It turns out that SAD work pants are actually tight.  Tighter and more revealing than jeans.

Unless they are loose and baggy.  Like pajamas. 

It turns out that work pants are actually tight.  Tighter and more revealing than jeans.

Unless they are loose and baggy.  Like pajamas. 

This Blew. My. Mind. I figured it out in Fall 2014 when I taught my first university class.  The last time I needed to dress like a young professional on a regular basis was in 2008. I went with older professional in an attempt to establish credibility as a leader among my peers. 

I was about 20-30 lbs heavier and wasn't checking on the low-rise straight legs at Express, Banana Republic or The Limited, if you know what I mean.  I was at JC Penney's and Kohl's checking up on the high (natural) waist, flat front, side zipper, conservative pants.

Over the summer 2014, I searched my local thrift stores with no dressing rooms for work pants 6 sizes smaller than last time. I was amazed when I tried them on at home and they were form fitting.  In disbelief I ran them by Dan and he said "that's just how work pants fit.  They look right."  My mind said, "then what is the big freaking deal about leggings after all?"  Subsequent observation has revealed that on typical work pants, like those worn by myself and my observable, young, professional, contemporaries, all of the pockets are just for decoration.  

On days when I couldn't deal with the tight, typical, conventional work pants I would wear thai fisherman pants.  These are huge pants made of swaths of cotton linen, that fold over like origami and tie in the front, then the top is folded down over the tie.  

Depending on the material they are made of and how much extra material there is they look very similar to my Tahari dress pants that go with my Tahari blazer composing my one adult suit that isn't from the '90's and is my size.  I don't have a picture of myself in that suit.  But I do have this gem from high school business club, 1999:

(All of those suits I chose in the 90's are suspect now.  They are in colors like turquoise (teal's darker sibling) and rose pink and feature embroidery or rick rack.)  

I cast off my fisherman pants for winter, when the weather is more amenable to less drafty pants and shoes that offer more coverage than buffalo sandals.  Even though they look business casual, thai fisherman pants are comfortable such that I began to doubt my own credibility as an adult when I wore them professionally or in life.  Though I'm sure that when spring rolls around again and from summer wafts forth heat and humidity, I will return to the fisherman pant and a more relaxed sensibility.  Enter the yoga work pant!

The yoga work pant, looks exactly like straight, clean, neat, work pants, but allows me to run right to yoga class after work, and to stop by the grocery store at prime time, chagrin free.  Available in black, other neutral colors, and plaid or herringbone.  Plaid and herring bone are currently in the crowd funding stage (which means they are 10% off too!)

I am enjoying my work yoga pants so much.  I have to say thanks designer Sarah James and Betabrand, this is brilliant!

After my original Facebook post, I got so many inquiries about where to find these pants that I decided to blog about it after all. (Link to referenced huff post article, "Why Yoga Pants Are The BEST Pants.")

What do you think?  Tell me in the comments: Is it okay to wear yoga pants everywhere?  Would it simplify your life if you didn't have to change your clothes on your way to the gym?  Do yoga pants all the time just seem more comfortable? Do you appreciate the similarities between straight leg pants and leggings and relaxed fit work pants and pajamas?

Cooking Swaps. No, No.

Hello people.  I have something to share with you.
Some of you all tell me what bad cooks you are because you don't measure and you use what you have when you make a recipe.  Sometimes this is also the trademark of a good cook.  Well.  Today I threw caution to the wind and made chilaquiles with what I had on hand.

The recipe I was working from was The Thug Kitchen's mixed veggie and tofu chilaquiles.
Starting from the top of the ingredient list and working down,
 the recipe called for corn tortillas.  I had some of those, but my dog ate them, so I used spinach wraps.
2 teaspoons of olive oil, I stuck with that one, even though I had some gorgeous Trader Joe's ghee on hand.
1 block of Medium firm tofu was not available in my kitchen on this snowy day so  I used 4 pastured eggs instead. I am aware that the tofu is a substitute for eggs, which I then substituted eggs for.
2 teaspoons of soy sauce or tamari.  I used bragg's liquid aminos, but even the thugs would not complain about that.
1 teaspoon of garlic powder, check.
1/4 cup nutritional yeast (nooch) check.
1/2 medium onion chopped, yes.
1 green bell pepper, yes.
1-2 jalapeños.  Didn't have 'em, so I left 'em out.
2 cloves of garlic, minced, check.
2-3 cups of spinach - here's where it gets interesting.  I thought I had some baby kale, yum!  But it had frozen in the fridge and turned brown and runny, gross.  So I substituted - and here's the first point where I knew it was all going downward - romaine.  This is one of those substitutions someone makes and then complains about the recipe and then you found out they substituted something like romaine for spinach or - I'm not good at coming up with these substitutions because they make no sense - and you want them to just not even try instead of giving home cooking a bad name.

Next on the list 2&1/2 cups salsa verde - yeah, unfortunately no.  This is when I could have thrown in the towel, eaten the scrambled eggs with sautéed peppers and onions and made some berry oatmeal pancakes with what I actually did have on hand. However, I had a jar of taco sauce in the pantry. mmmmmm.  Not so fresh, but spicy, at least.
1/4 cup vegetable broth or water.  Guess what - I had the vegetable broth!  A small victory.
toppings: avocado, cilantro, jalapeños, pico de gallo; This nightmare wasn't going to need no stinking toppings.

(I'm avoiding looking at you, several week old avocado sitting on the counter.  It needs to be thrown away but keeps me from buying new avocados, some of which may or may not end up getting old and thrown away, which I can't tolerate right now, so am avoiding buying any avocados.)

I would not expect this recipe to work, but for no good reason - maybe because it's a snow day, and I'm really enjoying this book, Thug Kitchen, and because Dan was already eating some Doritos for breakfast and I thought, well, this looks savory - I made something that was nothing like it anyway.

I'm still not sure what's going through you alls heads' when you cook like this and then complain about it.  I learned early on that if you make a meal this way, you might never want to try making it the intended way again.  Just get the right ingredients, follow the directions and you won't be complaining, you will be happy.