Dan asked if you can order things from it on the phone.
I said, "Well yeah, and there's a QR code on every page."
"No", he said, "can you call on the phone?"
"Wow." I said as it really got to sinking in, "I guess you can just order from Alexa. That's what this is for, you can be unplugged and sitting around in your living room, and you can just order from this catalogue from Alexa!"
We don't have and don't want Alexa. It's just too much.
Let's start with the front cover. It features children running around with cardboard box costumes on. And no Amazon merchandise to speak of.
Let's jump to the back page, instructions for making animal costumes out of "those cardboard boxes your gifts arrive in".
A few notable insides:
A Holiday wish list and mad libs.
A sticker page to "tag your favorite gifts"
And these notable gifts (what kids like these days):
An alien you can extract from the abdomen of another alien, and it is dripping in slime! I want to see Zillion's (consumer reports for kids) review of this.
A Melissa and Doug pizza oven - it comes with pieces to build pizzas, and cash. So brazen, so obvious! Would pizza even exist without capitalism?
And the most magical of all - Harry Potter's invisibility cloak. "There must be a catch. Oh! The catch is you need the app to become invisible. What?!"
How did they even decide to send me this catalogue?
I'm on the line. I really can't decide if I'd be happier being a part of the market research thing that created this beautiful atrocity, or if I'd be happier ripping it apart through critical discourse analysis in the fight through capitalism.
It's the critical time at the end of the semester so I'll stop there, but perhaps will come back with analysis over winter break. Enjoy!
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